LITTLE by little, i see each day how unimportant i am to you. What's also hurting is you don't seem to care about your child.

Little by little, i see each day that the only thing that making this work, is me.

Little by little, i come to realize, that the best thing sometimes is to give up.

Little by little, i am learning to accept the fact, that you just cannot trust the person who hurt you before.

little by little, i learn that even if you were hurt countless of times, he can still hurt you.

little by little, day by day, i realize that i just can't go on with you.

Goodbye....

forever.

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Unsent letter part 2

I had my breakfast/lunch alone again. But this time, I had burger, fries, and a glass of regular coke on my table. Right beside my not-so-breakfast-like meal was a local newspaper that I asked from the cashier. The front page posted a picture of cebu’s governor hugging a middle-aged woman. The article was about squatters from Apas who were spared from eviction because the government was able to buy the land for them. It caught my attention because that’s around where I’m staying. It’s about time the government did something right for the people. I think is it benefits both party’s; the people gets a place to live, and the government gets good publicity. Fair and square. Everyone’s happy.

That does not include me though.

This second letter goes to the person I hate a lot at this very moment.

I can understand that you’re tired, but to tell me that I’m stupid just because you don’t want to help is not acceptable. I hate you.

You’re not even paying attention. And you act like you know everything. Well, technically, you know more than what I know, I just got hired, you’ve been a long time employee. I don’t understand why they put you in this position. You think your so smart?! I so hate you. You’re a pig with bad manners. A fat black pig.

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Unsent letter

There I was at Jolibee having my lunch/breakfast alone. In the call center lingo, every 1 hour break whichever time it falls is called lunch break. I ordered the hotdog breakfast meal, not really my favorite, but I only had P50 in my pocket.

While I munch my way out of hunger, my mind is also busy thinking of things that I shouldn’t be thinking. Lately, I have been considering ending my relationship with my partner (because I don’t really know how to call him).

I’ve always believed in not giving up on someone. I’ve always believed in working things out, but I don’t feel like that’s going to be the case between us.

In my head, while putting ketchup on the eggs on my plate, I was rehearsing what I’m going say to him.

You know that I love you, and I don’t think that it’ll ever change. But I don’t think this relationship healthy for both of us, I’m not even sure if there’s even a relationship between us. You text or communicate only whenever you feel like communicating. I understand that I’m being clingy and as much as you don’t want me like that, I also don’t like myself acting like that.

And then I realized, maybe because I can’t trust you. Maybe you’ve injured my heart so many times that it’s afraid to trust you again. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about you not replying to my messages or you acting like you don’t care.

It because you want me to behave like someone I’m not and you don’t seem to be exerting any effort to make things work for us.

I am selfish. I want to be with someone thoughtful, someone sweet. I want to be with someone who cares with the things that I’m doing, who listens, who, even if he doesn’t like doing it, will still stay on the toughest times of my life.

And you refuse to be that. And I won’t insist in making you that.

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it's 6:51pm, november 3, 2009. I need to get some sleep, because i still have to work later. I need to sleep!!! Please let me sleep. I need sleep. sleep. sleep. sleep.

i only have less than 5hours left before its work time, and the more that I stay awake the lesser time for me to sleep. huhuhuhu.. sleep... i want sleep.. i love sleep.. i need sleep..

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I want to Thank you God for letting me wake up every morning.

For making healthy. For letting me see the beauty of this world.

For giving me the chance of experiencing life.

For giving me the honor of becoming a mother.

For letting me feel love.

For letting me see his smile again.

For sending me friends with good heart.

For everything.

There is so much in my life that i want to thank you.

It may not what i expected it to be, but it's perfect the way it is.

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